Mark was my first lover in the truest sense.
This is a powerful statement considering I was raped and trafficked since birth, used as an MK Ultra Presidential model sex slave for the first 30 years of my life, and experienced perversions beyond imagination to compromise global leaders through blackmail ops.
Love is the greatest healer, moral compass, and foundation for freedom to live true-to-soul and make wise choices!
When Mark lifted me from the Wash DC human trafficking swamp in 1988, I didn’t even know good people existed in the world. His precious pets showed me I could trust Mark, and I sensed that he was very different from anyone I had ever experienced before. As I learned to trust and started my healing journey by applying techniques Mark taught me, I began falling in love.
Why wouldn’t I love Mark? My daughter and I were safe for the first time, he was kind and wise, and had saved our lives against all odds. Still, Mark dodged my well-intentioned advances while telling me I needed to heal first and know who I am in order to have something to give in a relationship! He said, “I don’t want you a piece at a time- I want all of you at once!”
This motivated me to heal even faster! Love is in deed the greatest healer!
Healing to me is reclaiming compartmentalized repressed memory brain space through writing out memory. The very act of moving a pen uses the critical analysis part of the brain, whereby shifting emotionally incomprehensible repressed memory over to logic where it can be consciously dealt with. This opens neuron pathways in the brain, which frees the mind from being triggered back into program.
“How you remember is more important than what you remember,” Mark would tell me. By using the simple brain tricks detailed in PTSD: Time to Heal, I was able to reclaim my free thought freewill soul expression. It was there on that base core energy of my being that I remembered who I am, why I am here, and how to maintain self control to be 100% of who I am.
Mark was wise to wait until I was healed before considering a relationship with me. Not only is it unselfishly romantic, it is also crucial for avoiding complex difficulties and dangers associated with survivors who have yet to heal- especially through what is known as transference.
Transference occurs when compartmentalized memory is inadvertently triggered, and traumatic past intrudes on the present. This can, for example, create cross-overs amidst an otherwise passionate moment when the survivor triggers back to rape and momentarily responds as though being abused. Transference can occur in many other ways, too, unless the issue is stopped before it starts through proper healing.
Today I am seeing high profile survivors who, despite being on their healing path, have yet to identify all of their abusers. As a result, compartmentalized repressed trauma can be triggered, perhaps by a movie exposing an aspect of their abuse such as human trafficking, satanism, or worse. All of a sudden, the messenger becomes the abuser in the survivor’s mind who then shares their triggered mis-perception all over social media. This public display of transference in turn triggers other suggestible survivors, and a whole new ‘me, too’ panic begins. After all, violation is what survivors have been conditioned to, and it is difficult for any of us to expand belief beyond what we think we know, especially when trauma is involved.
It is imperative to slow down and fully heal first by writing out programming, identifying all abusers, and opening neuron pathways in the brain. Once someone knows their own truth, it becomes easier to discern truth in others.
Healing is a process, not an event- yet is a celebration every step of the way once freed from a traumatic past intruding on the present. Diffusing triggers is monuMental, increases safety, and is essential before survivors can effectively help other survivors!
This key to healing from within was deliberately withheld from mental health, education. and society as a whole. Even therapists were ignorant of the simple methods in PTSD: Time to Heal that empower self-healing. This information had been suppressed under guise of National Security to perpetuate a victim mentality necessary for creating a compliant society conditioned to look outside themselves to Big Pharma/Big Gov/Big Cult for answers! Healing in within, and it is within us all to heal our self!
In the early 90s, Mark and I began teaching mental health “professionals” about effective healing from trauma, satanic abuse, and mind control. They knew I could not be triggered and am strong in who I am. Subsequently these therapists wanted to know how I could heal when their survivors were not responding to conventional therapy.
Simply stated, it is because I healed from within free of outside input!
Since I had healed to know who I am, Mark and I had fallen deeply in love, each of us strong in who we are as individuals. Therapists could not understand why I did not mirror and match Mark or suffer transference. They wondered if love was key to helping survivors heal, insinuating that only those survivors in relationships could heal.
Mark explained why survivors need to heal from within themselves first just as I did before having a relationship. That is why I did not mirror and match or suffer transference.
I assured those therapists that love is the most powerful healing force in the universe. When a therapist is strong in who they are by living love’s infinite source of strength, wisdom, and compassion the survivor senses good intention. Love is a positive energy force within us all.
I celebrate the joyous reality that healing has given me; I am free to live the love I am without my past intruding on my present. My life’s experience has given me deep insight into the plight of other survivors who are dangerously being encouraged to speak out before fully healing. It takes time to strengthen sufficiently to reclaim self trust through knowing self truth, which in turn provides discernment of facts with calculated response rather than triggered re-action.
Through abSOULute love with Mark, I found our shared passion was not even in the same spectrum as violent perversion I’d previously experienced. Transference was no longer a possibility.
There is no comparison of light vs dark. With Love, I could give far more than my abusers had ever thought to take! Love is worth waiting for. Love is worth healing for!
PTSD: Time to Heal
Whether your traumatic experience peaks the top of PTSD’s sliding scale the way Cathy’s Pentagon level MK Ultra mind control programming did; or is from the horrors of war; or even if it is simply resultant from socially engineered information control and fears, this book is for you.